Outpacing Melanoma

Last Sunday was the Outpacing Melanoma 5K.  I had signed up a long time ago to be on a team with my friend Ginger, who had melanoma.  I decided that since Evan and I hadn't had much time together, we'd go ahead and do the event.  It had been in the 90's and I didn't look at the forecast to know it would be cool in the morning.  Evan had to really talk me into taking the blanket for him, but I'm glad I did. 

 This was our little team, Josie, Ginger, Kate & Evan.

 

I finished in 34:14.8.  My running is definitely on the back burner right now, but that's not bad for this season's "normal."  After the SIDS 5K, Matt was telling people I got first place in the women's stroller division and second place overall (one man pushing a stroller finished ahead of me).  There was no actual stroller division, and I've never heard of a race having one, but I do like how that sounds so may start thinking of my finishes that way.  The catch is that you have to have someone at the finish line to see the strollers that come in before me.  I usually don't have any "fans" at my races, because I'm not that good and it's not that exciting to watch.  My estimate was that I got second in the women's stroller division this time and third overall, but there could have been some really fast people pushing strollers that I didn't see ahead of me.

There was a kids race too.  Evan wasn't as excited for this one because he was so cold.  In my defense, the rest of the parents must not have checked the forecast either, but Evan shivers easily and doesn't like it.  He's the one the the Royals hat to the left in the picture.  He may not look like he's having as much fun as #424, but once he started running he was happy.

 He was most excited about the goody bag and ribbon he earned for finishing the race.

After the race, Ginger mentioned something about her kids calling their dad Daddio.  She asked Evan if he ever called his dad that.  He said no.  Then she asked what Evan called him.  "Matt."  Ha!  He did clarify to say Matt and Daddy.  That led me to believe that he may think Ginger's husband's name is Daddio.

Week of 5/14

I work with (and for) people who are incredibly caring and understanding.  I didn't go to work at all the week of my mom's diagnosis and hospital stay.  Unfortunately, my classes didn't end until the 15th, but I got them wrapped up and grades submitted.  When I returned to work my friend, Carrie, had these for me.

I've talked to Evan some about Grandma being sick.  I'm fine when I'm busy filling out her paperwork and doing various other tasks, but when I have to talk about what's actually happening to her, I get teary.  When I told Evan that Grandma's sickness is called cancer.  He said, "cancer, that's bad."  Yes it is.  I couldn't get him to explain how he knew that, and maybe it was just because he could tell how sad it makes me.  I don't think he really understands, but he does know she's sick and will tell people she has cancer, which is really bad.

My work schedule has been kind of random with my back-and-forth to Topeka.  Especially since there's no classes over the summer, I'd usually be off on Fridays, but I've been working the last few.  I came home Friday to a "big 'prize" announced by Evan.  It was a full day project, but they got a new ceiling fan installed in the blue room, where Evan sleeps at night.  I was a little concerned about how high Evan was, but felt better when I realized his swing set was that high and we've let him climb up there for over a year.

My sweet hairdresser, Abby, told me about an opportunity to do childcare at Jazzercise (and get unlimited classes for free).  Towards the end of April, I started Friday evenings, before we had any idea Mom was sick.  I actually did a class in Topeka when my mom was in the hospital, so it's kind of a pain to make sure I'm back for the class I watch kids, but it's nice to have the option to take a class anywhere they're having one.  I've only taken Evan a couple times when Matt had something to do.  On Friday, there were five other kids there and Evan had a great time playing and then running laps around the studio after the class.  On the way out, he told me, "I love Jazzercise!"  I don't think he has any idea what Jazzercise really is, but I'm glad he associates it with fun for him.

Evan and I went to Topeka Saturday and Matt stayed home to take care of things around the house and yard.  Thank goodness for him, so Evan is well taken care of, as is our home.  Evan had a meltdown in the morning and we are constantly reminding him that we can't understand him when he whines and we don't like to hear it.  Later on Saturday, Jayden had a fit and Julia took him outside.  A few minutes later, I asked Evan to go outside and ask Jayden if he wanted a quesadilla for lunch too.  In a totally serious response, he said, "I can't understand Jayden when he whines." 

My mom has amazing family, friends, and neighbors supporting her through this difficult time.  The Youngs live two houses down.  Eleese used to be a pre-K teacher and loves little kids.  The boys have made many trips to what Mom has called Day Camp Eleese.  The boys are posing in one of the Youngs' trees together.

Noah's 2nd Birthday

The evening of Mother's Day we also celebrated Noah's 2nd birthday.  His actual birthday was on Monday, but we wanted to celebrate with all the kids.  It was pretty special for our boys to be able to celebrate with him. 

Before we left to go home, Evan finally posed with me and my Mother's Day gift.  Matt had asked him ahead of time if they should get flowers for me.  Evan was adamant that I needed sunflowers.  Chris called around to a number of florists until she found one that had sunflowers.  She and Evan picked them up Friday and I got my gift early.  They were beautiful and extra special that Evan picked them out.

Mother's Day

Chris had already planned to have all of the family and in-laws over for lunch on Sunday, May 13th for Mother's Day.  We went over there, along with some of the Bryants and Robinsons, in hopes of giving Mom some time to rest.  A big hit with the boys at the Graversen house was the bubble maker toy.  It was such a big hit that Papa had to get a few for the Bryant house.

Grammy & Jentry

Chris & all of her kids

The Maders on Jenny's first Mother's Day

Grandma's pot wasn't the only one that met with misfortune last season.  We made a new one for Grammy too, with Evan's hand prints and  Jentry's foot prints.

Evan and Jayden helped plant the flowers in the new pot and another planter on the deck.  While planting, the boys also had a lot of fun playing with the many roly-polies they found.

Cousin Time

I didn't take any pictures while mom was in the hospital, except for this cute little guy sleeping on Grandma's bed.  It was taken on May 7th when Mom was feeling pretty good.  Julian would lay with Mom in bed and if Mom was up or in a chair, Corri would put him down to rest her back.  Julian is a pretty mellow baby and has done great being toted around everywhere.

Matt and Evan arrived the evening on the 10th.  Late that same evening, Sharon, Sara, and Noah arrived.  As I mentioned, Matt spent all of Friday working on the flowers in my parents' yard.  Chris helped him and helped take care of Evan and any other child around.  Mom's flower pot from a couple years ago had broke so we had already made her a new one with hand prints from Evan and Jayden and footprints from Julian.  Matt said the two boys were so cute planting the flowers for her.  No one was taking pictures then, but the finished product is very nice and right outside where she can see it.

On Saturday, mom was home and all of the boys were there.  They "helped" Aunt Sharon plant some more pots. It was fun for Jayden and Evan to meet Noah and show him the ropes of being a "big" boy.

Shocking News

I've been thinking about how to write this post for over a week.  I think anyone that reads this already knows, but my mom was diagnosed with choloangiocarcinoma on May 8th.  Just the title was hard to come up with.  My first thought was "Cancer Sucks," which is true, but my mom wouldn't like me talking like that and it doesn't sound terribly intelligent.  My second thought was "I Hate Cancer."  Also true, but focused on hatred, which I try not to do.  Hate is a strong word that I try not to use, but it certainly is true here.  Then I thought about "I Love My Mother."  Also very true, but that's the case everyday of my life.  So I finally settled on "Shocking News."  There's no better way to put it.  You can read more details, find updates, see pictures, sign the guestbook, and get more info on sending a 6x6 note sharing memories and/or good wishes at her CaringBridge site.  I'm not going to go into all the details here and certainly not all of my emotions right now, but here's a brief synopsis (well, I intended it to be brief).

My mom has had a clean bill of health and regular check-ups.  She has had neck and back pain, but it was controlled.  She started having pretty bad pain for a few days and when it got really bad, she called the doctor and was sent to the hospital for tests on May 2nd.  That was the start of what has turned our world upside down...at least to our knowledge.  This definitely didn't happen overnight, which makes it harder to understand the shocking news and change in Mom's health.  The weekend we went to Wichita, she was being discharged from the hospital and feeling pretty good.  I visited her during the day that Friday and she was itching to get out.  They found she had large gallstones and spots on her liver.  They'd done a bone scan and liver biopsy.  The bone scan looked good, but the biopsy results would take awhile.

That Sunday her pain got so bad that we had to take her to the ER.  Our family and extended family came in, no questions asked, and made sure Corri and I could be with our mother.  Corri and I were there that whole week, so we could be with her and do what she needed when she couldn't.  It was Tuesday (5/8) that we learned the diagnosis.  She has Stage IV cholangiocarcinoma (in the liver, bile ducts, and lymph nodes), which is uncurable and has a very short survival rate.  She started chemo that Thurs and was discharged from the hospital Friday evening.  Her health had done a complete 180, from her and our perspective.  No one had any idea what was going on inside.  This is one of those cancers with no early detection.

My Aunt Sharon, cousin Sara, and Sara's son, Noah, arrived to visit and help care for my mom for a week.  All of the sudden my very active mother's body isn't working.  Dad is here, of course, and Corri and I have also spent a lot of time in Topeka.  She seems to have a great staff of doctors and nurses, but this cancer is relentless.  Some days are better than others, and some times of the day are better than others.  Matt spent all day last Friday getting her flower beds ready and planted so she would arrive home to her spring flowers.  We're doing everything we can to make her as comfortable and happy as possible.  Please visit the CaringBridge site to keep updated and send positive energy, thoughts, prayers, etc. her way.  We've seen such an outpouring of care and concern and can't thank everyone enough.

As I was proofreading this, I realized I usually refer to my sister here as Julia.  That's her name, but we still call her Corri, shortened from her middle name, Corrigan, my mother's maiden name.  I decided not to change it here so just try to follow along. 

Jentry's baptism

Sunday was Jentry's baptism.  Day three of lots of activities.  Even though Evan wasn't going to the service, there was lunch at the Graversen house afterwards and I knew we'd want some pictures.  I told him Saturday evening that Sunday was a big day for Jentry and we were all going to dress up and wear nice clothes (meaning nicer than t-shirt and gym shorts).  He thought about it for a second and replied, "I will wear my penguin costume."  It was definitely the funniest thing he's said in awhile.  Apparently dress up only has one meaning to him and it involves costumes.

He's smiling big in the picture above, but Jentry's not too exciting for Evan right now.  Her four-year old cousin Kia was pretty fun though.

No trip to Grammy & Grandpa's is complete without riding Daddy's old horse.  Grandpa even found Evan a sombrero/cowboy hat.